Holiday Tips for Dementia Caregivers

Do not be surprised if your dementia suffering loved one seems to decline in December. It’s dark early, and routines are disrupted–holidays–which bring travel, visitors, and even decorations can add to the confusion of our dementia suffering loved ones. Your holidays and theirs will be easier with a plan.

Designate shepherds to be with your loved one–especially during large gatherings. Dementia sufferers are overwhelmed by lots of activity. Consider assigning each family member a time slot to sit near and interact with your dementia sufferer. One on one interactions are less frightening–you don’t have to constantly recognize people! Assigning time slots controls the flow of people and ensures that the caregiving is shared so that everyone gets to enjoy the holiday.

In our family, we had a sign up sheet. We told my mom that everybody wanted to spend time with her, so we had to take reservations! She was flattered, and all the family (including grandkids) enthusiastically claimed “their turn with grandma” instead of glumly submitting to “babysitting grandma.” Each family member introduced the next… “Oh, is my turn up? Grandma, here’s Curtis to claim her special time with you,”  and then the previous person would exit. Make sure to schedule people who can manage bathroom breaks, medications and food at the appropriate times.

Wandering increases during the holiday. If you are traveling with your loved one during the holiday, be sure to plan for the increased confusion that being in a new place brings. Tie bells to the doorknobs of the bedroom and doors to the outside of the place you are visiting, so you’ll know if your loved one is moving about. Holiday bells in pretty colors double as “decorations,” for those with dementia deniers.

Early stage sufferers may respond to notes taped on doors, for example. “Betty, we are visiting our grandchildren at their house. Stay in our/your room until it is light outside so you do not wake the children.” Make sure to write large enough for those without glasses to read.

Especially when traveling, consider how a lost loved one can be helped. Seniors found wandering are often taken to police stations or hospitals–which are confusing at the best of times–because no one knows who they are. Consider attaching a dog tag with your dementia sufferer’s name and a phone number where you can be reached to shoes–they can be threaded on shoelaces or sewn onto slippers. Dog tags come in decorative shapes like hearts –so they don’t look like a label. GPS trackers for shoes are available at stores that sell athletic gear for runners. They are more expensive than dog tags, but will tell you exactly where to find your lost lamb–if she puts on shoes before she goes out!

Lastly, be aware of the impact that diet changes have on your loved one. Celebrating during the holidays means more sugar, fat, salt and even alcohol. In my experience, dementia patients, especially Alzheimer’s sufferers, can be profoundly impacted by food–go for frequent, small portions of fruits, veggies and proteins.

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