Active Living

The other night someone stopped by my gym to ask about what kind of training I do. After explaining that I focus primarily on personal training with a strength focus, the person asked if I do training sessions specifically focused on “abs.”

This made me think about the gap between what people want and what they actually need. I can tell a lot about whether a person is committed to goals and process or their comfortable routines based on what types of exercise they do.

Generally, I’ve found that devotees to classes and cardio machines are addicted to their routine. They like their 7 PM Zumba class, their elliptical session while watching Morning Joe, or their abs sculpting class at noon. These things make them sweat and generally make them feel good. These aren’t bad things.

The problem is that they’re not going to be particularly effective either. Hopefully, you know me well enough to understand that I’m not here to shame or belittle anyone’s choice of exercise. I’m not. And hopefully, you also know me well enough now at this point to realize that I’m not dogmatic about exercise. My non-negotiable is that everyone ought to be doing some sort of progressively overloaded weight-bearing exercise, but that can look like a lot of different things for different people based on goals, interests, and experience.

Zumba is only going to work for so long before it stops changing your body. It’s not that it’s not challenging, but that it’s difficult to progressively overload and it’s not weight-bearing in the sense that you’re targeting your central nervous system, bones, muscles, and joints for adaptation. One can lack mobility in significant areas but still complete a Zumba class. This is what makes it a great option for someone who’s never exercised–but not as their ONLY form of exercise. Because if one lacks mobility, one ought to work to gain mobility. That’s not going to happen in a class like Zumba.

Abs classes might make your belly burn, but chances are you’re not going to flatten out anything if you’re not also doing squats, lunges, presses, and pulls along with a healthy dose of well-balanced eating that includes a lot of vegetables. You might view your stomach as your “problem area,” but that pathway to a flatter midsection is paved in the kitchen and in the strength training facility or yoga studio–not the abs class.

That morning elliptical ritual you have is great if you’re using it to clear your head and get a good start on the day. But don’t think that you’re going to elliptical your way to the body you want without also a good bit of strength training or yoga. The more you use the elliptical, the more efficient your body gets at handling it–which is the death knell for forcing an adaptive response.

My sense of why people opt for routine instead of actual change is they’re afraid that they’re somehow the people for whom fitness doesn’t actually work. Why commit to an actual goal only to be disappointed? This is fear talking to you. Don’t listen to it. I’m here to tell you that if you lift progressively heavier weights or practice yoga with a good teacher; if you sleep seven to eight hours a night; and if you eat vegetables and protein at every meal (and your protein can come from the right veggies) you can change your body.

Don’t resign yourself to routine when you can accomplish. Don’t settle when you can achieve. Don’t give up when you can succeed.

So before you sign up for that next abs class, ask yourself this: Do you want to do what you like? Or do you want to do what works?

If you’re committed to the pursuit of strength, then you ought not worry about whether or not you’ll be able to fit into those skinny jeans. In fact, if you’re getting progressively stronger, more mobile, and healthier, chances are you’re NOT going to be able to fit into those skinny jeans. That’s a good thing.

But I still have clients, mostly women, who worry about fitting into their same jeans after a few weeks of working out. They’re losing body fat, feeling stronger, and moving better, but there’s a connection between how and whether clothes fit some women and their self esteem that I’ve not been able to break, try as I might.

So let me make the case for big butts. I’m not talking big butts from indulging in too many fried cheese sticks, but big, powerful butts sculpted from lunges, glute bridges, hip thrusts, and curtsey lunges.

The performance case

If you want to be a strong squatter or deadlifter, you’ll need a strong butt. These full body movements demand what we call a strong “posterior chain”–that is, the muscles that predominate on the back of your body from top to bottom–and your glutes are a relatively important part of that chain. Glutes are responsible for what we call “hip extension.” Want to pick up something heavy from the floor safely? Hip extension is a key part of the equation.

The metabolism case

The biggest mistake I see people making in commercial gyms when I’m traveling and working out in one is focusing too much time on minor muscle groups (biceps, calves, etc.) instead of major muscle groups (back, quads, hamstrings). People think the path to sculpted arms lies in things like tricep extensions, but really what they need to do is squat and deadlift more while eating more vegetables and balanced meals. This in turn will help you burn more fat, which will reveal the strong arms you’ve been building from your rowing and pressing. What you’re after if you’re trying to lose body fat is working big muscles every time you work out–and your glutes are among the biggest in your body. So having a big, strong butt will actually help you burn fat while you’re not working out.

The aesthetic case

The old sexist punchlines centering on a woman asking her husband if “these jeans make my butt look big” ought to be dead if they aren’t already. The cultural tides have shifted–in a good way, in my estimation–away from the drive to be skinny and toward the pursuit of a strong, curvy body. Men and women alike seem to enjoy looking at “squat butts” more than ever. Fitness is my life, but I’m not naive enough to think that people aren’t working out in part to catch other people’s eyes. Filling out those yoga pants, jeans, slacks, or shorts with a big ole squat butt will definitely get you noticed.

Resources

Now that I’ve convinced you that you need a bigger butt, it’s time to put thought into action. How do you build a strong, big butt?

To answer that question, you really should start by reading and watching as much Bret Contreras content as you can. Dude has built a career out of building butts (and publishing serious research in fitness). Start here for his myriad resources on butt building.

I would also check out what TNation has done on building strong glutes. Within just the past few days TNation editor Dani Shugart wrote an entire piece on the how’s and why’s of building strong glutes. That article, “The Flat Butt Fix,” is here.

This week I’ve had more than one person express fear to me about their new habits. They’re lifting now, eating better, feeling better, and looking better, and just when you think things couldn’t be any better the old adversary pays a visit.

Fear.

If you’ve done the hard work and engaged in the self-reflection necessary to change your body, you want to keep the “new you.” This desire can cause more than a little anxiety about slipping back into the old ways that yielded the old you.

I wish I could tell you or my clients that I can guarantee that you won’t slip back into the old habits, but there’s no guarantee for that. I can only share with you what I’ve seen from people who’ve successfully made dramatic changes and who continue living a healthy lifestyle.

A Focus on Strength, Not Weight Loss

Strength, and thus, muscle mass, is the best insurance policy against sliding back into an old unhealthy body that there is. If you’re continuously getting stronger, then it’s going to be difficult to simultaneously continue getting fatter. This doesn’t mean that you might not gain weight, but it means that your ratio of lean mass to fat mass should tip in your favor as long as you’re–

…Eating Vegetables At Every Meal

Tired of me talking about veggies yet? Sorry. I’m not going to stop. You need to be eating more vegetables. Right now, in fact. Seriously. Stop reading this post and go eat some damn vegetables.

If you’re getting progressively stronger and you’re filling half your plate with vegetables every time you sit down to eat, it’s going to be really, really difficult to slide back into your old ways. You’re going to feel too full to eat extraneous calories, especially if you stick to the rule: veggies at every meal. The corollary to this is that you also should be eating protein at every meal, but generally I’ve seen people fall short in the vegetable department. The key is eating balanced meals full of nutrients, the building blocks of immune health and muscle, and satiety.

The people I’ve known who’ve successfully changed their lifestyles have incorporated some sort of weight bearing exercise and eaten well. At least some of these people had tried the usual prescription of “eat fewer calories and do a lot of cardio” and failed before adopting the sustainable path built upon muscle mass and balanced meals.

When someone says to me that they’re nervous about returning to their old ways, often I’ll ask them to compare how they used to approach wellness to their new approach.

Old Approach

Often what I’ll hear about their old approach is that they counted calories, they ran a lot, and that they were injured a lot. I’ll hear that their weight loss journey generally made them miserable.

New Approach

In comparison, their sustainable approach often involves fewer workout sessions (but with more intensity), eating more often (but with nutrient dense foods rather than calorie dense foods), and feeling stronger.

So the fear usually stems from the fact that most of the time when people embark on a weight loss journey they’re engaging in behaviors that are patently not fun. Who wants to be injured all the time? Who wants to feel hungry all the time? Who wants to feel weak? Who wants to eat bland chicken and broccoli for dinner every night?

No one.

The most important thing you can do if you’re trying to change your body is ensure that the process you’re using feels good, tastes good, and is fun. You’re going to be sore if you’re new to working out–I’m sorry, that’s just the price of admission for the first couple of weeks. As you get stronger, however, as you walk up and down the stairs without pain, as you play with your children or grandchildren without tapping out because you’re tired, as your clothes fit better (even if the scale doesn’t change), you will feel good about yourself. And you’ll want that feeling for the rest of your life.

Worried about the eating part of the equation? I promise you that a well-prepared home cooked meal will always taste better and make you feel better than fast food, processed food, or anything you can get from a big chain casual restaurant. What this means though is that you have to learn how to cook. The people I know who’ve changed their lifestyles sustainably have almost always incorporated more cooking into their weekly routines. This is not negotiable.

If you’ve changed your life using the sustainable path, if you’ve learned to cook, if you’ve learned how to get stronger, and if you’ve embraced the process–you have nothing to worry about.

If, on the other hand, you’ve dieted your way down to that dress size you’ve been chasing; you’ve been doing hours upon hours of cardio; and you’ve been counting every calorie, I can’t say that you won’t slide back to your old ways. I’ve seen it happen too many times.

Turns out you have to enjoy your body in order to sustain it.

I recently had to cancel three days of clients because of some vile stomach illness I wouldn’t wish upon my fiercest of enemies. I hate canceling on my people, but the primary reason for my reticence to send that apologetic text may surprise you.

I know from experience that once I cancel on people, I’ve sent a subtle signal that canceling our training sessions is okay. I fight hard to stay healthy, not just because it feels better for me—but ultimately because my clients’ success depends upon me being there. Every. Single. Time.

The personal training world gets a bad rap in part because it seems this don’t cancel on your clients policy practiced by every good coach I’ve ever known isn’t the standard it should be for many fitness practitioners. Sometimes I’ll take on a new client who’s used to working with a less than professional trainer, and they’ll begin the relationship with several cancellations. I have to have the conversation with them about how I will almost never cancel on them and in fact I expect the same courtesy in return.

Am I being prickly? Nah, because the truth is people know I have a 24-hour cancellation policy. So if they cancel on me late, I can still charge them for the session. I get paid for doing nothing.

What’s really going on is I know just how important establishing the fitness habit is, especially in the beginning of change. If you hire me to train you and I cancel on you rather than keeping our appointments, I’m failing at a significant part of the job—which is literally just showing up for you.

Life happens, and some canceling is inevitable (as my three-day stomach bug vacation proves), but a successful trainer/client relationship depends upon a mutual culture built on keeping appointments. You have to show up for each other.

If you’re working with a trainer, here are some signs that you need to find someone who takes you more seriously.

1.) Do you have set appointments with your trainer, or are you consulting your calendar every week? For the most part you ought to have a slot that’s yours unless your travel schedule or shifting work schedule dictates moving appointments from week to week. What shouldn’t happen is that your trainer texts you on Sunday night every week attempting to squeeze you into slots.

2.) Your trainer should never—and I do mean never—no show you. I heard from a former client in another city recently who had to give up on his current trainer because of incessant canceling and no-showing. This is simply unacceptable, and it shows that whomever you’ve hired to help you on your fitness journey really doesn’t much care about whether you succeed or not.

3.) Last minute cancellations should be a rarity. I used to work with a guy who would text his early morning clients and check in just to make sure their 6 AM was still a go. This is ridiculous behavior that you shouldn’t tolerate. If you said last week that you’re training this week on Wednesday at 6 AM, well that’s exactly what should happen unless an act of God, family emergency, or illness intervenes.

But it’s not all on your trainer. This is a partnership and the responsibility for your success can’t be all on her. Here are your responsibilities:

1.) Show up on time ready to work out. If you have a 12 PM session and you show up at 12:10 consistently, you’re sending subtle signals to the trainer that you’re not really invested in your own success. Early on in my career I used to show up for a 6 AM client at 6:03—until she rightly called me out on it. Frankly I was too grown to be acting in such an unprofessional and careless manner, and I’m glad she had the courage and self-esteem to say she wouldn’t stand for it. (She ended up being a good friend and one of my favorite clients). She was always on time, ready to work, and I’m a little embarrassed to think back on how I didn’t automatically reciprocate her behavior until she said something.

2.) Never no show, almost never cancel late, and rarely cancel at all. You’re not going to improve if you don’t show up. And again, the way you act toward your trainer sends subtle cues about how you want to be treated. The person who shows up a little early, ready to work out, always keeps appointments, and appears to be respectful of their trainer’s time is the person who will be rewarded with extra effort, extra research, and extra attention to detail.

My industry has failed a lot of you countless times because of a lack of basic grownup behavior. Early on in my career, when I still viewed fitness as a means to other ends (I’m going to be a writer or a journalist or an actor!), I was as guilty as the very people I’m criticizing today. You shouldn’t stand for this because your body is too important. But remember always to hold up your end of the bargain as well. A relationship this critical, this intimate, is based on mutual trust, respect, and professionalism.

I used to work with a trainer who would tell his clients that they ought to leave their jobs if their careers didn’t allow them to live healthy lifestyles. I always thought this was ridiculous, impractical advice, but I’ve been wondering lately if I was too dismissive of this trainer’s logic.

Modern American life is replete with responsibilities, financial pressure, and seemingly unrelenting time-consuming demands. So I mostly try to offer advice that allows people to make the best of a suboptimal situation. Lately I’ve been wondering if this practicality actually is feeding into an unhealthy approach to life by justifying it in a way. “Listen, I understand that you have two kids, a mortgage, and college to save for, so I understand if you don’t have the time to cook three meals a day, every day.” That’s probably a version of something I’ve said before.

The problem with my approach, however, is that I’m not sensing that most of us are actually happy with the way we’re living. The parents I talk to say that they’re overwhelmed, and people seem to feel less in control as they rise through the corporate/government/organizational ranks. We get more, in a sense, and then we’re afraid of losing what we just earned.

When I ask people how they would like to be living, almost invariably they tell me they would like to be spending more time with their children, they would like to be exercising more, and they would like to have more time to cook. The conventional wisdom suggests that people are just idiots and that’s why they eat the way they do and avoid exercise. But I think what’s happened is we’ve bought a narrative about what our lives–and by extension our houses, cars, and clothes are supposed to look like. In short, I wonder how much our unbridled consumerism is linked to our declining wellness.

By investing in stuff instead of experiences and our health, we’re voting for stuff in a sense with our dollars. Let’s take cable, for instance.

“According to estimates from the NPD Group, this year the average subscription pay-TV customer will pay an astonishing $123 per month for pay-TV. NPD estimated that same figure was $86 in 2011, which indicates an increase of 9.4% annually between 2011 and 2015.” —Motley Fool, February 2015

$123 a month seems high, but that’s not the only cost associated with that cable bill. There’s also the lost time with family, with books, with friends, with creativity, with love, with sex, with thinking, with doing, with our communities. $123 a month is almost $1500 a year. Once we start to appreciate how much money we’re essentially throwing away, then the choice to stay at that miserable, life-sucking job seems less like a sacrifice necessitated by saving for college and more like a silly choice to watch “Say Yes to the Dress” instead of spending time with our spouses.

I pick on cable television a lot, but there are other examples. We eat out at mostly terrible restaurants and fast food joints. We buy two gigantic cars instead of trying to make due with one. We even buy gigantic homes that are expensive to heat and maintain.

Lest anyone think I have some sort of superiority complex, I can assure you I’m guilty of wasting money on stupid things too. When we first moved back to Dayton I was a baby about how the water tasted. So I convinced myself that we “needed” to have water delivered every month. Several weeks ago we eliminated that water delivery service from our ledger, bought a filtered container at the grocery, and now we’re saving a lot of money as a result. (Bonus points too for eliminating the wasted energy used to ship water to me on a truck instead of turning a faucet.)

I’m not telling you to quit your job. I am asking you to think about where your money is going. Could you make less money but live closer to your home, thus buying you valuable time with your family? Is there a walkable neighborhood to which you could move where you wouldn’t need multiple cars? If you took a hard look at things like cable service, could you reduce the amount of monthly costs?

When we think about our choices related to fitness and health, general we focus on nutrition and exercise. But I’m here to tell you that where and how you choose to spend your money is as much a wellness decision as what you’re having for dinner tonight.

So don’t quit your job…

…but think about how your life might be different in another one.