I keep returning to this theme of understanding, loving, and respecting one’s body because every week I’m reminded of how many people don’t fully grasp the ideas. So I try to come up with new ways of saying the same thing. You, the fearless reader, probably suffer from deja vu every day my column appears.

Today I want to explore the ideas of discipline and norms as they relate to our bodies because I think there are some misconceptions packaged within these concepts that require some scrutiny.

I often talk to be people who tell me that they need to be more disciplined, and I’d say the majority of the time what they’re referencing is an inability to wake up early and work out. They think that fit people live like a boxer in the Rocky and Creed franchise, waking up at the break of dawn to run five miles, drink a raw egg, and do one-arm push ups. With this type of mindset–only slightly exaggerated here for underwhelming comedic effect–it’s no wonder that many people intimidate themselves out of getting fit.

Not everyone reading this is a morning person. I happen to be able to function rather quickly upon waking, so getting in a workout in the early morning hours is something that’s doable for me. That doesn’t make me more disciplined, it just means that when I was in kindergarten the neighborhood mother who drove carpool called my mom to tell me once that she really loved driving me, but my energy and mouth were a bit much in the morning.

My point is that we are who we are to a large extent, so you shouldn’t beat yourself up if you can’t quite make the morning workout happen.

BUT, this shouldn’t be an excuse for staying up later than you know you should. Not being a morning person is one thing, but lacking the processes in the evening that allow you to get to bed at an hour that would allow you seven or eight hours of sleep is quite another. You might not be a morning person because no one is on five hours of sleep. If this sounds familiar, then maybe the problem isn’t that you’re not a morning person so much as you’re just not going to bed on time. Know the difference. If, even after a decent night of sleep, the thought of working out just isn’t something that’s going to work for you, then you need to troubleshoot ways of getting in a lift during the day or evening.

Now that we’ve dispensed with the idea of “discipline,” let’s tackle norms. During an initial consultation, new clients often will say to me preemptively, “well I know I should…” Sometimes they’re right, as in, “I know I should be eating more vegetables,” but often they’re wrong, as in “I know I should be eating low carb” or  “I know I should be eating low fat” or “I know I should be running more.” What they’ve done is adopted questionable conventional wisdom as an accepted fitness norm with little relation to the actual science. Worse, they beat themselves up for not following a norm that doesn’t really exist in the first place.

When the idea of discipline meets false norms, fitness becomes an overwhelming, all-encompassing project rather than the beautiful, mind-opening, life-enhancing journey it can really be.

How do you know the difference between a true lack of discipline and a false narrative you’ve adopted?

1.) If you haven’t worked out at all in more than two weeks, then you need to troubleshoot what’s going on that’s not leaving you the time to care for the one body you’ll ever have.

2.) If you have worked out in the last few weeks, but your consistency has been sporadic, then you need to figure out why. Often this is a process issue–meaning, your days are not organized enough to allow you the time to be good to yourself. Do you use a calendar? How often do you check it? Better organization usually trumps discipline for busy people.

3.) Are you happy with the way you look naked? Do you have unexplained aches and pains? Do you have energy crashes during the day? A negative answer for the first question and affirmative answers for the latter two could mean that something needs to change in your diet. Remember, you have to be eating for YOUR goals. When I’m in a heavy training cycle, I’m eating as many potatoes as I can get my hands on. If you’re trying to decrease body fat to get ready for a photo shoot, then reducing the amount of starchy carbs you’re consuming might be a good idea. The key is to understand that there are different ways of eating for different people. There is no normative diet, in other words. There’s just the right way of eating for you.

There’s an interesting diversity directly linked to geography that I’ve noticed while coaching clients around lifestyle issues in different parts of the country.

Not the greatest lunch idea.

My New York clients ate well at breakfast and lunch because the range of healthy options available to discerning Type A personalities was plentiful. Dinners were most difficult for them because I trained a lot of people in finance and law, industries in which late nights, after work drinks, and sometimes gluttonous dinners were actually part of the job description.

My Washington, D.C. clients had a harder time with breakfast, I think in large part because of the long commute times in a notoriously terrible city for traffic. These clients often were government workers or lawyers who were trying hard to get a jump on their day and skipped breakfast as a result.

Perhaps counterintuitively, my sense of the nutrition picture for my Los Angeles clients was actually pretty good. The slower pace and less formal atmosphere among my many entertainment industry clients meant that people took the time to eat a healthy breakfast while sitting on their deck or taking a walk in the sunshine to grab lunch at a local, fresh eatery (where your waiter is probably the best looking person you’ve ever seen in person).

Turkey chili recipe from the New York Times’ beautiful cooking app.

In Dayton I’ve noticed a trend both in my personal life and among my clients: eating well at lunch is difficult. If you have the time to go out with colleagues and sit at a restaurant, you’re probably in luck because there are some really good, local options. But what if you want something quick? That’s where things get more difficult, and that’s where I’m a strong advocate–at least for now–of almost always packing your lunch.

I’ve written before about “fast food” chains like Sweetgreen, where for around $10 you can grab a locally sourced salad with a fantastic balance of macronutrients (protein, carbohydrate, fat).   I’ve struggled in our city to identify the equivalent, where you can eat a veggie-centric meal that also contains protein and healthy fats. (If you know of any–please comment on Facebook!) For the most part, your “fast” lunch options in Dayton generally aren’t going to do you much good.

That leaves you with two options. First, you can still go out for lunch but make the best of the situation. Try eating mostly vegetables and make sure you’re getting protein and a healthy fat (like olive oil or avocado) as well. The protein and fat combination is important because that’s what’s going to help you feel both full and satisfied–avoiding the M&M bowl that Debbie keeps at her desk.

The second and preferable option is for you to bring lunch from home. Now, some people object to this by saying that they “don’t have time” to pack a lunch every day. My answer to that in recent months has been the big batch, one pot meal. Think soups, stews, and Crockpot dishes. This turkey chili recipe from the New York Times has been getting a lot of run in my house recently, and I’ve recommended it to several clients. I like the recipe because of the great combination of tasting great as a leftover, not taking very much time to prepare, and being easily divided and saved for lunchtime meals. Make it on a Sunday and eat it for lunch throughout the week.

What about the boredom factor? People tire of eating the same thing every single day, but if you’re one of those people who are going out for lunch five days a week, then having turkey chili twice a week probably isn’t going to get old too fast–and you’ve reduced the amount of times you’re eating out by 40 percent. So if the one pot meal can get you to two times a week of packing your lunch, and you can make enough dinner one night to have leftovers for lunch another day, you’re up to cooking 60 percent of your lunch meals at home. Not bad, right?

The takeaway here is that I’ve talked to a number of people in Dayton over the last few months who want to bring their lunch more, both from a health standpoint and from a financial standpoint. Given that we don’t have a lot of great, quick, healthy options for lunch to begin with, you have some incentives to brown bag it. But the key in implementing this behavioral change is not biting off more than you can chew. Don’t make your goal 100 percent compliance with packing your lunch. Start off with two days a week. If you can do that, then you’re well on your way to saving money and eating well during your work days. Better for the body and the wallet.

I used to write a regular newsletter for my business, but contributing weekly columns here largely has brought that output to a screeching halt. It’s not a complaint so much as an admission to my limited capacity for meaningful output. To the extent that I lament my newsletter’s slow demise, it’s because I miss having an avenue where I could explore broadly without fear of alienating anyone. That is, if you signed up for the Present Tense Fitness newsletter, you sort of knew that you were just as likely to get a think piece on street art as you were anything about squats.

In this space, I know people tune in a least partially because they want to learn about something fitness related. I confess to being a little self-conscious about the sometimes tenuous connection between what I write here and straight up fitness. This self-consciousness is a close cousin to the insecurity I sometimes feel around my own accomplishments (or lack thereof) in the weight room. I’m not as strong as most well-known trainers, for example, and I’ve never competed in any sport at a high level. So why the hell should you even listen to what I have to say about fitness?

When I describe what I do, I try to be clear that I’m not the guy to go to if you’re trying to achieve a 600-pound deadlift. I can teach you how to deadlift, but if you’re looking for elite, I’m just not the right guy. Sometimes I feel that my niche–people who are new to fitness who are trying to live well-rounded, rich lives–is an excuse used to paper over my own lack of accomplishments. But then my clients remind me why I do this, and why the way I’ve chosen to use the space can be useful.

Earlier this week I was coaching someone who told me they “hate the gym.” We’ve been working together a while now, and this person is thoroughly convinced of strength training’s efficacy. That’s not in doubt. What is in doubt is whether this person will ever be the type of person to love driving to a place, maybe changing clothes and heading over to the power rack, and busting out some barbell front squats. That’s likely never gonna happen.

But yoga, yoga is something this person has always loved. And having been convinced of why strength training is important and can measurably improve one’s life, this person sprinkled in some dumbbell work with a recent yoga workout.

And loved it.

Will this client ever load up 225 pounds on a bar and squat to depth?

Will this client deadlift twice bodyweight?

Will this client compete in a powerlifting competition?

No. I try generally to avoid words like never, but I can safely say in this case the answer to these questions is almost certainly “never.”

But can this person love the body they inhabit?

Can this person live a life full of passion, soul, and creativity?

Can this person with a combination of yoga and selected strength-training exercises mitigate bone density loss, enhance mobility, and increase the amount of lean body mass while decreasing fat mass?

Yes. So much yes.

So whenever I get that imposter feeling, that feeling that I’m not really serving a purpose, and that I ought to use this space to break down the force vectors involved in a high-bar back squat, I remember conversations like I had this week.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t find the right mix of exercise for you. That you shouldn’t run. Or you shouldn’t do yoga. Or that you’re wasting your time if you’re not doing X, Y, or Z. (Especially Z. Z is overrated).

I’ll say it again. Every person on the planet ought to be doing some sort of weight-bearing exercise at least two days a week. What form that takes though can be highly individualized. Chances are if you’re reading this you’re not getting ready for the Olympics, so your goal is to find the right combination of exercise that will allow you to live a life full of passion, soul, and as much creativity as your brain can handle. Live. Get stronger and go out there and live.

Edit: I actually sent out a newsletter ahead of this column. It was about songs with outer space as a theme. I’ll say you’re welcome in advance for not writing about that here.